I’ve came to the point where food is disgusting.
I’m barely eating because of the constant fear of gaining weight - I feel a bit dizzy today but though I’m not going to eat more than an apple and a tablespoon of plain yoghurt.
I have a disturbed relationship with food , some kind of love-hate thing.
I would love to eat the whole kitchen but I would need to purge afterwards and as I can’t purge I’m just not eating.
The thought of eating or not eating are so exhausting.
After waking up the first thing you think about is food. Whether you eat or not and what you eat and drink.
Is coffee with milk ok or should I drink plain coffee?
Should I peel my apple to avoid some more calories?
Is tea ok or should I drink only water?
what can I eat to not feel guilty afterwards and how much of it?
I struggle so much with my eating habits.
I want to eat healthy but it’s so hard to not starve or overeat.
For me there are only those 2 sides - I can’t eat normally because when I start to eat normally it triggers me to eat more - if I eat less I keep starving and eating less everyday until I break down and the bingin cycle begins.
I would love to be skinny and healthy but it seems like it doesn’t work for me..